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Navigating Sexual Assault Awareness Month

  • Writer: Chase Salmons
    Chase Salmons
  • 3 days ago
  • 6 min read

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). This subject can bring up a myriad of complex associations and emotions for people. In our work as therapists, we know that clients who’ve experienced sexual assault have immensely personal ways of processing both their experience of assault and their journey of healing. It’s common in such a process that words like “survivor,” “victim,” or even “assault” become complex, unreliable, or just flat out insufficient. While bearing witness to and honoring each individual’s process of healing from sexual assault, we know that removing external and/or internal barriers that cause isolation can also be a powerful means of moving forward. The following will help us look at some of the ways that those who’ve lived through sexual assault are not alone; first by defining sexual assault, then by reviewing the stats, looking at some emerging trends, and discussing the kinds of help available.

Understanding: What Defines Sexual Assault?

Many survivors struggle to label their experience because it didn't look like anything they’d have known to expect. While not exhaustive, it can help to measure one’s experience against the three "standards" used by clinical and legal experts:

1. The Power Standard: The American Psychological Association (APA) says sexual assault is primarily an act of power and control, not merely sexual desire.

  • A key note: The lack of a clear physical struggle does not mean you consented. The brain’s “Freeze” response is an involuntary survival mechanism. If you felt paralyzed or "checked out," your body was likely protecting you from a threat – not agreeing to something.


2. The Informed Consent Standard: According to the U.S. Department of Justice, sexual assault is any nonconsensual sexual act. For consent to be valid, it must meet the F.R.I.E.S. standard:

  • Freely Given: No pressure, "guilt-tripping," or threats.

  • Reversible: You can stop at any second.

  • Informed: You know exactly what is happening.

  • Enthusiastic: A clear, active "yes" – not a "fine" or a silent shrug.

  • Specific: Saying yes to one thing isn't "yes" to everything (this includes the acts wherein a condom user intentionally and/or covertly removes or damages a condom during sexual activity. This particular act (known as "stealthing") has been reported as increasing in frequency, leading to increased need for clarification that giving consent must be an active and ongoing process)

*Another key point on consent: Consent is never implied merely because the individuals involved are in a romantic relationship. The vast majority of sexual assaults take place within personal relationships (i.e., with “non-strangers”).


3. The Capacity Standard: Under North Carolina law, an individual cannot legally consent if they are:

  • Incapacitated: Due to alcohol or drugs (regardless of who provided them).

  • Physically Helpless: Asleep, unconscious, or unable to communicate "no."

  • Underage: The age of consent in NC is 16.

The Practical Test: If your "yes" was obtained through fear, if you were unable to say "no" because of substances or sleep, if you were under the legal age of consent (16 in NC), or if you simply didn't give an active agreement—the standard of consent was not met. The responsibility for ensuring consent always rests on the person initiating the act.

The Reality of the Numbers: Alone, Together

When it comes to sexual assault statistics, we have to address the gap between what’s reported and what isn’t. While raw data can feel cold, they are an important tool in realizing that if you have experienced this, you are (very) far from alone.

In the United States, current data suggests that a sexual assault occurs every 68 seconds. While official reports like this are staggering on their own, RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) estimates that 2 out of every 3 assaults go unreported to law enforcement.


Why does this gap exist? Factors like the heavy weight of stigma, fear of not being believed, and even the complex "freeze" response our brains utilize to keep us safe during and after trauma all stand as barricades that keep roughly 30-60% of sexual assault victims from formally reporting their experience. It is also vital to note that 80-85% of sexual assaults occur within the context of existing relationships (a current or former romantic partner, acquaintance, etc.). When an individual is victimized by someone they’ve known personally beforehand, the experience may be less likely to be recognized as an assault, which can further normalize patterns of violence and abuse within both individual relationships and the broader culture as a whole.


The reality is that millions of our neighbors, friends, and even family members are walking through life with a story they haven't told.

Acknowledging this isn't meant to be discouraging; it’s meant to break the isolation. If you are struggling, you aren't a "rarity" – you are part of a massive community navigating a path toward reclaiming confidence, healing, and peace.


Emerging Trends with Evergreen Roots: The Digital Frontier & Isolation

As our lives move further online, patterns of vulnerability are shifting, especially for young people. Something that hasn’t changed though? The more invisible or isolated someone is, the more at risk they are.

  • Online Predation: Predatory behavior often starts in unexpected spaces like gaming apps or social media messages. Digital connections are frequently used to bypass a young person’s boundaries before a physical meeting occurs. Some of the most risky apps include some that parents in particular might find surprising.

  • Online Perpetrator Communities/Forums: The proliferation of social platforms that allow users to conceal their identities has helped would-be and/or recurrent perpetrators find "safety" among others who proactively seek to harm others through sexual exploitation. In recent years (and months), increasing numbers of concerning headlines have emerged about these online communities and the challenges law enforcement face in monitoring their activities and preventing -- or effectively responding to -- crimes stemming from these forums.

  • The Vulnerability of Isolation: Post-pandemic social patterns have left many feeling eager for connection, sometimes leading to a "lowering of the guard" that may unintentionally create openings wherein bad actors can take advantage of someone without a robust support system. In many instances, people may have a “gut instinct” that something “felt off” about an interaction with someone (online or offline) before any ill intent was suspected or demonstrated. Reducing isolation in these situations can be a key protective factor in helping lower risk.

Getting Started: The Path to Recovery

If you weren’t already aware, healing can look super messy. Some days are victories, others are, well… eh. Both are normal. Here are some basics to keep in mind:

  • Prioritize safety: If the assault was recent, your priority is physical safety and medical care (SANE exams are available at your local hospital).

  • Ground yourself: Use your five senses to remind your body that you are safe in the current moment.

  • Find trauma-informed care: Talking is hard. Talking about trauma is harder. You deserve a therapist who understands the "freeze" response and how trauma impacts the brain (for example, it shuts down the part of your brain that helps you process and express things through language. Super helpful…).

  • Set small boundaries: Reclaim your space by saying "no" to small things that don't serve you. Each "no" is a building block in your new, secure foundation.

How to Help: A Guide for Loved Ones

If someone discloses an assault to you, your reaction is pivotal. You don’t have to be a therapist; you just have to be a safe place to land. Here’s what that means, practically:

  1. Believe them. Don’t play detective or ask "why" questions. Just listen.

  2. Give them control. Trauma is often a loss of control. Give the survivor choices: "Would you like to sit in silence? Would you like to call a hotline?" “Would you like to talk to anyone else?” Would you like me to talk to anyone else?” Let them decide the next step.

  3. Check your own "stuff." It’s normal to feel angry. However, manage your emotions with your own support system so the person who discloses their assault experience to you doesn't have to "manage" you.

Resources for Support

National Resources:

Local Resources (NC Piedmont Triad):

A Humble Reminder: We know this is heavy work. The team at Redfish is available when you’re ready to talk, or even just ready to sit in a room with someone who won’t judge, minimize, or offer unsolicited advice.

You are more than what happened. You’re more than how what happened affected you, too.



Chase Salmons, LCMHC, Practice Founder

Chase is a Winston local and has been working as a professional counselor since 2016. Chase loves working with people who are seeking to grow, overcome anxiety, explore relationship issues, or who have questions about their careers and future.



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